I saw somewhere the other day an artist rendering of the LENS looking east from several stories up. The gist of the article was this is the way the " new St. Pete" should look. Perhaps.
It got me to thinking about how St. Pete has been perceived in the past.
It has taken quite a while for St. Pete to shake the monikers, Wrinkle City and God's Waiting Room. We had to pull up most of the Green Benches to rid the City of those names.
In recent times St. Pete has just been St. Pete, While the current Pier was a major attraction, other things like the Dali and major league baseball seemed to represent what St. Pete wanted to become.
So what about the LENS?
Well you do kind of have to admit that from that elevated view it does look a bit like a cross between a toilet seat and a bed pan with a handle. You can trot out all of the artful metaphors you want, it still looks like a cross between a toilet seat and a bed pan with a handle.
While the artful of eye may gush on and on about its artistic qualities, graceful lines and iconic nature, Joe Lunch Bucket, his wife and kids are still going to see a toilet seat.
When he is showing his vacation pictures or posting them on Facebook, his friends will say: what is that? A toilet seat?
Answer: Nope, it's a bed pan with a handle
.What if St. Pete becomes know as Bed Pan City, the Tidy Bowl Town, or the Tampa Crappa.
Would you really want a picture of that thing on your coffee cup? Might give your morning coffee a whole new meaning.
How about on a tee shirt. Would you wear it or curse your child by sending them to school with that thing on their back?
Would you send a postcard or an e-card to a friend with that thing on it as an example of a great time in St. Pete? Probably not.
They could hold a football or soccer game here, call it the SNO BOWL and the shots from the Blimp could make the whole thing work.
Look for cartoons of the St. Pete Seat(SPS) with a brush in the middle and I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
Then there is the whole question of naming rights.
Some likely candidates: "The Charmin Tissue LENS"," The SNO BOWL Long Walk", actually that stuff might work to clean the thing. It always worked well on my sailboat.
"The Fabreeze". "Aaaaah a fresh view of the Bay", another product that might prove useful in large quantities.
And my favorite "The Kohler". Marketing slogan: "Take a Walk Along Our Rim"
This thing could be showing up in the potty section of grocery stores and home stores on all sorts of products all over the country.
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Campaign Disclosures: Contributor to Kathleen Ford Campaign, Darden Rice Campaign, Concern Citizens of St. Petersburg
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